June, 2000
Who are the Chicago Seven? (Sorry this one goes to eleven). And who is John Galt? (Everybody knows it's windy). Get the Association?
The Chicago Seven 11 are committed to doing whatever it takes to get a Mancunian in the White House. If you don't believe it, come and meet them at the Dole Banana Republican Convention in Philadelphia Free Dum Dum. They'll have a table set up at Delilah's Den and the Doll House giving out free swag and shag. There's 11 of them and they're really radical.
If you haven't voted in the general election, please do so. There's no law that says you can't vote more than once. (And if you actually make it to the end of this section you will find a Galluping Pole).
But first let us introduce you to the Chicago Seven 11.
1) Avida Dollars (not to panic, not everyone is an anagram)
2) Peter Sellers.
3) Liam (Check www.mancuniancandidate.com for up to the minute galluping poles.)
4) Bobby Sears and Robuck...another face of John Galt?
5) Huey Newton and the Loo (What happened to the Grinch who stole Gingrich)
6) Jumbo Pot (Gumbo ya-ya)
7) Quizliam, Norweigan Dictator Tot Puppet (the 64,000 dollar question)
8) Hubert Humbert Humphries (A pervert or a president, isn't that redundant?)
9) Upton Sinclair Louie Louie (the guy who wrote the Jungle Book)
10) Timothy Leary's Mad Cow Disease? (King Lear)
11) Pooh Radley (To Kill a Poking Byrd, not the king fisher Huey Long)
*oops actually this one goes to 14. FOURTEEN OR FIGHT!
12) The Angry Samoan of the Desert (The Polar Bear Meets the Garage D'or)
13) Jurgen's Angry Inch (are you the chump who humped the stump, or a mortician, Gomez?)
14) Norman the Mailer Man (Our Executioner/lounge act)
If you can dicipher this long and twisted road to the Isle of Rhodes, it will lead you to Gilligan's Easter Island: a long way from Chile....(Did anyone really believe that the Collossus was there?)
OK, now you have the cast of characters. Here's a special set of questions
to help you decide whether you are qualified to vote on the referendum at
the bottom of this page. Of course we can't stop you if you don't qualify.
Here goes.
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Official Press Release (We didn't write this)
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Operation Desert Fox Begins Now... Put your Helmut Kohl on! Offspring Time for Hits has come today. Does this sound like a bitchin' Khmer Rouge to you?
We have entered into the Tao of Jones Syndrome. What have the Romans done for us lately? We've got an idea; we need some answers.... We must speak to Brutus (no spinich for me, y tu?)
Do you see what we've done to your Ides of March? We've made it into March Madness, a made for TV special.... Can you keep up with our equation, it's getting so long (like this email) that neither Einstein or Eisenstein could figure this one out.
Why? Because there is now relativity here!!! We are not MC Squared, We're Times Squared!!!
Is there a master faux plan.... What's the conspiracy? The Reich and the Right.... Come on! Only in Spain are Republicans Abraham Lincoln Brigaders!
Now it's time to take the quizliam (all the references are there if even if you weren't there.)
1) What would you prefer to fly.... Luftwaffe Air or Air Force One?
2) Do you ski like a Kennedy or a Beatle?
3) Are you a Miami Dolphins fan or Fortuna?
4) What were the fab four years?
5) Was Teddy a Ruckspin or a Roughrider?
6) Would you adopt a bunker for Archie or Adolf?
7) Who would make a better Secretary of Defense: Starsky or Trotsky?
8) Explain in two sentences FDR's Nu-Nu Deal.
9) Do you really want a Cuba Libre?
10) Is the Castro Covertible truely of the Ottoman Empire?
11) Would you prefer a free Motorola or a Teletubbie Phone?
12) Who was the original T-Rex? Dino or Barney?
13) Is Turkey the National Byrd?
14) Does one have to travel to Holland or through the Holland Tunnel to see the Haarlem Globetrotters.... That would be Franz Hals of Pain-yo... (Montezuma's Halls of Medicine).
15) What does the Right have in common with the Velvet Underground?
16) From what country are the Ill and Annoyed?
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OK now that you know the rules of the game, here's our special galluping pole question. Actually there's two. Please vote.
1) As you know there is a crisis in the Oasis camp. Should Jay and Alonzo from Kula Shaker join Oasis?
Yes: e-mail: Lorenzo St. Dubois
No: e-mail: Mussolini
2) Liam should learn an instrument. Should it be:
Maraccas e-mail: Lorenzo St. Dubois or,
Tambourine e-mail: Mussolini
Your vote is important. If you made it this far:
Please click here for your free Crackerjack Prize